Beauty Is Truth, Truth Beauty - By Sieur Clubin

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty," – that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

- John Keats


John Keats – they say he was a very talented poet. I don’t know whether it is true or not coz I’d never read him. He died at a very young age of 25. Surprising to myself, I like the people who have died at a young age but have left an indelible mark behind e.g. Vivekananda, Cleopatra, Keats, Van Gogh, Ramanujan, Kurt Cobain and many others to quote. I like ‘em – and it doesn’t mean that I know everything about them. In fact, I don’t know anything about them except the fact that they died young. I like them for reasons unknown to myself. So I wanted to know more about this guy and was reading some literature on him whereupon I came across these lines. It was just an accident. But at times, some accidents do turn out to be useful ones. In this case, these two lines did provide me with a topic to write something upon this week for our blog. Above are the last two lines from his “Ode on a Grecian Urn”. By the time I finished reading the first two lines, my soul was witnessing how my body was gradually sinking into deep sleep. Hence I left the gonna-be-futile effort of going through the entire ode and trying to understand it. I guess they termed him talented may be coz his talent laid in writing poetry that can put even the insomniac into deep sleep. Anyway, what was important to me were the last two lines and I’d already gotten ‘em. That’s enough of introduction. Let’s jump to the main topic.


A few of my friends have always been suspicious that I must have been an ardent lover right from the day I hit puberty, no matter how hard I deny the veracity in their postulate (as I’ve been an ardent lover much prior to that! ;-)) They think my nights must have been more bright & colorful than my days. Fun apart, I really don’t understand or unable to figure out what makes them think so. Hitherto, my life has been an open-book for a few and they have gone through each and every line in it with a magnifying glass – repeatedly. They know me in and out. Curiously, the same people question me with that leering look in their eyes – “you’re a man of secrets”, "you never made a move to get the women you loved", "you denied that you'd ever loved but only lusted", "you secretly harbored love" and so on..! It is quite eerie when I get to hear that I’m ‘close-mouthed, covert, cryptic, enigmatic, tight-lipped, zipped (of course I’m, but down there where it is required!)’ from the people whom I thought have understood me better than anyone else. Yes, I agree that I’m tight-lipped but only when it comes to others i.e. I don’t divulge the secrets being told to me by my friends, which they expect me to keep it to myself. And I’ve got nothing to hide neither from my past, nor present or may be, not even from the future. I recently received an SMS which read like this – “Hurt me with the truth than comforting me with a lie...”. Well, that’s what I’ve been following throughout my life. No matter how blunt or hurting it turns out to be, I try to stick to the fact as much as I can (of course not while being indulged in casual talks). So, why is that my friends still doubt upon me? Do they ask so coz they just wanna play pranks with me or do they ask coz I look like a person who has been fostering HIV for more than 20years in his body or have they really failed to understand me?? …I just wonder... But at times, it makes me feel proud of myself! Makes me feel proud coz though I suck at selling myself, things like this make me feel that I’m good at misleading at least! :) What if I can’t convince, I can confuse at least..!! :)

But yes, I’m a sucker for Beauty…especially the feminine one! ;-) By Beauty, I meant sheer aesthetics i.e. looks and appearance but not the internal beauty which might consists of various psychological characteristics. Beauty is my weakness and at times, could be the reason for my sickness (coz it does influence the increased flow of testosterone). I love everything that is beautiful in both the natural and the man-made world. I appreciate anything that is beautiful (sans men) – right from the soothing smile carved out on a baby's lips to the hotness of a stunning babe’s luscious lips. I keep staring at things that attract me, forgetting the time-space dimension that I’d be in to. And many a times, this has lead to embarrassing situations. I would be lost looking at a thing that appears beautiful (that would be a person most of the times!) and at the same time, the person whom I’d be checking out, will be looking at me with all that hatred-filled, disgusted, but somewhat ego-boosted glance. When our eyes meet, I realize what kinda bonehead I am and the first word that would come to my mind would be “Fuck!”, while taking my glance away at the same time. I try to bailout from that place asap! Fortunately or unfortunately, most of the times, that person turns out to be of someone in the age-group 18-30, and obviously - a female. And I keep repeating the same mistake again and again. I need to be cautious henceforth coz this might cost me my job as per the company policy. Who would believe if I tell that I was not trying to sexually exploit anyone but was only checking out the redness of the lips, color of the Iris (if it is green, that would remind of the Crab nebula. My goodness, how I love green eyes! They are so expressive, piercing and powerful just like that of a supernova explosion!), the arch of the brows, the line of the nose, how attractive the smile is, the flow of the silky smooth, soft, wavy hair - aromatic and quivering like that of the smoke emitting out of a smoldering incense stick, the beads of sweat on the forehead, if there or not any piercing on the earlobe, the curvy lines on the neck that appear and disappear intermittently, how nimble the tongue has been, dimple on the cheek (I’m dead if there is any! :) and FYI, I’ve not met even a single guy who doesn’t like a girl with dimples..), the tenderness of the skin, the radiance of the complexion, the undulating gait … and a million other “censored-to-be-mentioned-here” qualities!? No wonder I’d get caught red-handed by my subject while I’m busy observing all these details. And I don’t think the excuse “I’ve not taken the ASHI Quiz yet” would be a reason sufficient enough to save my skin here…

And may be, this weakness or the disease of mine – of losing myself while observing something beautiful with rapt admiration, might have made my friends and subjects think that I’m always on the prowl for some action (my age and relationship status also add on to this).

I just discovered that I’m a Philocalist; meaning a lover of beauty! (Not bad. I thought I must be the only specimen around). It is interesting to note that some things just have to be there but do nothing to make the ambience and most importantly - the moment beautiful. Their mere presence would make the difference. I’ve also observed that I tend to remember beautiful objects in a much clear & precise way than the ordinary things, no matter how shallow the beautiful objects and how grave the ordinary things have turned out to be at a later stage. And I’ve always wondered how the beautiful objects must be feeling about themselves, what might be going on in their mind - especially when they know that they are beautiful and are the victims of prying eyes..!? Do they experience a feel of pride? A sort of uneasiness? Agony? Ego? Or pity at others?? Only they would know…

People say that "Beauty is only skin deep”. I’d say “what a dumbass statement this actually is..!!” I can bet that it can’t be anyone but someone the sorts of Steve Buckner who framed that shitty slogan. Coz anyone with the least amount of sight or vision, can never come up with such a baseless statement. External beauty is as important (well, more than in certain cases. A study shows that good-looking people get better jobs) as the internal one (if there is any). For its been 2,000years since Antony and Caesar killed themselves for Cleopatra, its been 350years since the construction of the Taj for Mumtaz, its been well over 200years since Daffodils left an everlasting impact on the world through Wordsworth, its been 48years since Marilyn Monroe ruled Hollywood, and it must have been the beginning of time when Mahabharata took place because of Draupadi and Troy was atomized for Helen. Though they are not here today, the legend of their beauty still lingers on. It is so powerful that it will transcend all ages for generations to come. Nobody will imagine a wise, witty, intelligent woman when they hear the word Cleopatra; nobody will imagine an able administrator when they hear the word Mumtaz Mahal; nobody will imagine a gritty patriot and a loyal wife when they hear the word Rani Padmini. But all one would imagine is either their striking beauty, or the legends associated with it. In that case, how can a yet-sane person like me agree to a witless statement and consider that external beauty is valueless, when it has left its footprints right in front of me – on the sands of time??

So after taking a lot of detour and finally to conclude, I would say that being a Philocalist, I adore Beauty. And being an atheist, I worship Beauty (!?). And my body language & words need not be the actual reflection of my thoughts & emotions! (Just like the situation wherein you cross your path with your boss …you just smile at that person and get one in return. And you both know that the smiles exchanged were genuinely fake! Well, the phrase ‘body language’ has rung a bell. I had this court-martial with the fellow TTK Board of Directors last Friday which I think, could be developed into an article) Argh, detour again :( Anyway, to cut a long story short, as I started off the essay with the misinterpretation of my intentions & behavior by my friends & subjects, I’d now like to reiterate that my philocaly should not be taken for lechery - for I loved many beautiful women but never loved any woman!

The last one is probably the best sentence I’ve ever phrased..!! ;-P

Thanks for reading! 27th Jun, 10

Sieur Clubin 06:36pm